I recently saw a post from a mom that just had a baby and needed to go back to work. Now I know that everyone’s situation is different, and there are a lot of families that have to go back to work to just make ends meet. I can only imagine how hard it is, having to leave my brand new baby. And this is not a “my job is job is harder than yours” scenario . But her comment about “being a stay at home mom” didn’t sit very well with me.

 I wish I didn’t have to leave my baby,

but I don’t have the Luxury of being a stay at home mom.

Let’s just go over what the word luxury is first. It is defined as “the state of great comfort and extravagant living.” HAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. There are many great benefits to me staying at home with my kids, and I will say that I am BLESSED, but it is so out of the ball park, for me at least, as a LUXURY. Here is why…

Before I had my first child I worked as a Massage Therapist. I was in the most relaxing, calm and friendly environment. I have never met a person that was upset they were getting a massage. To me this was the most amazing job in the world; I loved going to work every day and I had the LUXURY of making people feel a little bit better. Once I had my son, I thought about going back to work and being in that environment again, but the reality was that I couldn’t, didn’t really want to, and didn’t. To find childcare for the short amount of time that I would be gone and for the amount of money I would be making was not in the card.  So from then on I was a Stay at Home Mom.

My husband and I are so happy we did and wouldn’t have it any other way. I got to see and be there for all of my children’s firsts, and proudly – and embarrassingly too – am fortunate to say they learned most of their firsts from me, but with that comes at a lot of not so fun


1.) I sacrifice good conversation with adults, and when I finally do get a chance, I end up talking about bowel movements and and the latest movie that has been played for the 5th time that day.

2.) I sacrifice getting the good quality clothes. First because I can’t afford them anymore on one income, but because it’s not even worth the risk of them getting ruined by snotty noses, poop and the latest food that my child had eaten and used me for a napkin while I’m not looking. And dry cleaning is EXPENSIVE.

3.) I sacrifice having nice things in my house because, as hard as I try to teach my kids to treat things with respect, it’s inevitable to hear crashing items several times a day. (Goodbye my beautiful owl candle holder. You made me feel like an adult for a whole week.)

4.) I sacrifice big fancy trips every year. Who needs resorts and fancy hotels and weekend getaways anyway when you can have in-home movie nights and go camping and roast marshmallows in our fire-pit.

5.) I sacrifice going out to dinner at a restaurants. (This is a BIG luxury to me.) I cook almost all of our meals.

It is not a contest in the sense of if you work vs. if you stay at home. I truly don’t know how working moms get anything done, cause I know that it is incredibly difficult for me when I am home all day. I love my life and am very grateful for it, even if that means having split ends and ragged clothes. My life is not extravagant, and there are a lot of things that we go without to make our situation work for us. I don’t just sit at home doing nothing either. This truly is one of the most intense jobs I have ever experienced, and I wouldn’t change it, cause in the end we all just want what is best for our kids.

Erin Wienzapfel
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