Our second child is still a few months away from arriving, and I’m already feeling guilty about the lack of attention I’m paying her – at least in comparison to the first little human I grew.
When I was pregnant with our first, I read books and blogs and forums and all the handouts from my midwife. I sat around rubbing my stomach and researching what part of the baby was developing in my womb that week. I looked forward to my appointments, when we would chat about how I was feeling and listen to the heartbeat.
It’s slightly different this time around. Oh, I’m still gloriously excited to meet this mini person and I marvel at the life growing inside. But midwife appointments means finding a babysitter or entertaining a busy toddler in a waiting room; the handouts are skimmed and tossed on a shelf.
That’s just the beginning. Here’s some other differences.
Pregnancy 1: She’s been kicking all day long and each one is so wonderful and amazing. I love just sitting here and feeling my precious baby girl move and grow.
Pregnancy 2: She’s been kicking all day and I’m so uncomfortable. I just want to sit and relax without a foot sticking out the side of my stomach. Doesn’t she know I need to sleep at night?
Pregnancy 1: I can’t wait until I have a super adorable belly I can show off with cute tops and fun photos.
Pregnancy 2: I guess it’s time to reorganize my clothes into piles of things I can wear, and things that won’t fit until who knows when. Sigh.
Choosing a name
Pregnancy 1: I spent hours pouring over name origin sites and baby name books. My husband and I discussed ideas at length, and I had an ongoing list on my computer where I would match up names we liked and rank them in order of preference.
Pregnancy 2: “Hey, we liked this name before … Do you still like it? Done. I guess we should find a middle name sometime, too.”
Pregnancy 1: Oh, this is rather annoying. I guess I’ll take a Tums and sit upright for a while.
Pregnancy 2: Urgggggggg. The constant bending and lifting and carrying and sitting and standing and climbing that my toddler demands of me is so not helpful.
Pregnancy 1: “Oh, how exciting! You must be so thrilled! Can I touch your stomach? Do you have everything ready? Can I offer some advice? Let me know if you need anything!”
Pregnancy 2: “You’re having another one, eh?”
Pregnancy 1: I did mini photo shoots each trimester, and had a professional maternity session with cute props and a pretty dress. I took snapshots regularly to track the growth of my belly, logging them into the parenting app I was using at the time.
Pregnancy 2: I’ve attempted to do trimester pictures again, but they’re belated, and some of them feature my photo-bombing toddler. I think I’ve taken a couple shots on my phone?
Sorry, baby #2. I promise I love you too!