On Change

When I was a kid, I used to feel frustrated at my parents for what I thought of as their lack of consistency in certain areas.

Looking back, I realize it was stupid little things that bothered me.

Why hadn’t I played one sport that I could excel at all through high school?
Or taken an instrument for years at a time, so that I could really master it?
Why had I hopped around from a private school, to a public school, and finally been homeschooled?
We talked often about moving when I was a kid or about my mom working. I would get used to some of my parents ideas, and then get really disappointed if the idea fell through.

I vowed to run my own family like clockwork.
Consistent schooling, consistent extracurriculars, consistent peers, consistent expectations. No confusion.

It’s all very, very laughable now.

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Purging Lesson

Today was the day. I had had enough of the clutter. Namely, my kids clutter.

(Actually, I had had enough weeks ago, but today was the first time a few free hours coincided with my frustration.)

It was too much STUFF. I’m sure you’ve been there.

Now to be fair, we live in a small space. (A very small space, if you don’t know. A 32 foot travel trailer.)

And we are a fairly big family.
(Two parents, 4 kids, 1 Doberman.)

As a result, my tolerance for “stuff” is pretty low.

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Why I love fall

Fall officially begins this weekend, and I am so excited. There, I said it.

It’s not that I don’t like summer. Or even that I’m overly obsessed with autumn. I don’t even like pumpkin anything. And I’m not one of those people that pulls out sweaters and decorates for Halloween as soon as Labor Day is over.

But I really do look forward to fall. What I love is the changing of the season.

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Waiting for the pain

It’s a strange thing, to be eager for pain.

To be waiting for it with anticipation, not dread. Maybe a little anxiety, but not fear. It will be welcome when it comes, because there is certainty that on the other side is something glorious. The joy and wonder that is longed for is only available after the pain, by experiencing the pain. When it subsides, it will be forgotten, and what will be remembered is only the journey, the process, the incredible and miraculous result.

Therefore, I will be thrilled when labor begins. Continue reading