Waiting for the pain

It’s a strange thing, to be eager for pain.

To be waiting for it with anticipation, not dread. Maybe a little anxiety, but not fear. It will be welcome when it comes, because there is certainty that on the other side is something glorious. The joy and wonder that is longed for is only available after the pain, by experiencing the pain. When it subsides, it will be forgotten, and what will be remembered is only the journey, the process, the incredible and miraculous result.

Therefore, I will be thrilled when labor begins. Continue reading

This pregnancy is not like the other

Our second child is still a few months away from arriving, and I’m already feeling guilty about the lack of attention I’m paying her – at least in comparison to the first little human I grew.

When I was pregnant with our first, I read books and blogs and forums and all the handouts from my midwife. I sat around rubbing my stomach and researching what part of the baby was developing in my womb that week. I looked forward to my appointments, when we would chat about how I was feeling and listen to the heartbeat.

It’s slightly different this time around. Continue reading